Even a BMX Mom Needs a Break

I'm exhausted. Just now I added it up. I was in 9 states in the month of March. To top it off, I turned old---

I would've never made it without Rick Castro,
dad of William's Felt team mate Ricky, who promptly
changed the tube I blew up in William's cruiser.

The week after the Super Nationals in DeSoto, TX, I lamented to Vann, "I can't catch up. I'm worn out!" To my sweet husband's credit, he sympathized, obviously understanding the logistics of traveling half-way across the country, toting two boys and three bikes. It would've been four, but I left one home, Wyatt's cruiser, deciding that I couldn't handle the tight turn around between cruiser and intermediate during quarters and semis.

Tired or not, it was worth it. I relished the time with my boys, and they raced like champions, together earning five podium spots for the weekend.

One weekend later, we were in our home town of Fort Walton Beach for a USA BMX FL state qualifier, where I whined to our friend Bill Madden, "I don't get it. I'm STILL tired!" He commiserated as he hobbled on his healing broken hip, which didn't stop him from snapping a few gates.

As for the HTG monogram, you'll just have to guess.

On March 29 the unthinkable happened, I turned 40. Vann and the boys showered me with cards, flowers, kisses and CAKE - home made by my favorite chef- Vann the Man.

At 4 the next morning, Vann drove me to the airport. I hadn't been to Wyoming since our honeymoon, where Vann got frostbitten on a deadly snow mobile excursion, and we were far too cold to do what honeymooners generally do.

It was time for #sistertrip2012.

I know I'm lucky. I have a sister who I share everything with, and she shares everything with me. Every year it's non-negotiable-- We're together for one week of sisterly love.

It's our sixth night in Jackson, WY, where we remember childhood summers sipping Shirley Temples in the Cowboy Bar, and long family drives through the Tetons. If I had to choose one paradise, it would be here. 

My sister Wendy and I don't ski. We've been asked that question 100 times this week. Instead we play cards by our fire, and remember who we are.

BMX Mom

Texas on my Mind

My Pa Pa- "Mac" McClanahan (center)

I can hardly wait for Wednesday to come. Just me and my boys are heading west on a Spring Break racing adventure. I haven't spent much time in Texas; an aunt's funeral in Waco, a few trips to San Antonio to visit my sister when she was in college at Trinity U, and a spa trip to Austin. That's about it. Despite my lack of time there, I am 1/4 Texan.

Although I hail from the Florida Gulf Coast's Redneck Riviera, where beer funneling is the #1 sport, my maternal grandparents were native Texans. I didn't know my Pa Pa, a leader in the Texas/Louisiana oil industry of the 1950s and 60s, but I know from my Grandma Helen how to be a strong-willed Texas woman. I guess you can say that I'm Country and Western.

Grandma Helen (left) with my mom at a rig christening

Throughout my engagement to Vann, Grandma Helen generously gave me sound marital advice: "Nod and smile at him honey, and then do whatever you want." Unfortunately for Vann, I put this advice in the bank, along with, "Honey, don't take any crap!" So my sweet husband will load four bikes, his wife, children, cooler and a toolbox in our Suburban and send us off to Dallas, while he stays home to work.

I'm excited. The only thing I know about Dallas is who shot J.R. While we travel in unknown territory, I'll think of my grandparents and explore my roots, knowing they're with me in spirit.

BMX Mom

Going the Distance at the USA BMX Volunteer Nationals

"Reluctantly crouched at the starting line
Engines pumping and thumping in time
The green light flashes, the flags go up
Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup..."

The first thought that entered my mind was that the 307 moto turnout in Morristown, TN, for the USA BMX Volunteer Nationals was amazing. If you weren't there, you missed it. By "it", I mean all of it---- the sun, the rain, the tornadoes, the snow, the noise, the dirt, the first turn treachery, and some of the greatest amateur racing I've ever witnessed.

The track itself seemed an improvement over the tight-turned tracks laid out in the past by the NBL. The short, flat first straight offered nothing; no skills needed, just strong legs and a bag of wind. Seeing this, my confidence soared for William, who has the leg strength of a rhino beetle. (I've been informed multiple times by William's scientific younger brother that the rhinoceros beetle has stronger legs than any other animal. Look it up!)

We quickly learned that the ease of the first straight allowed for many expert riders to go into the first turn together, causing constant collisions and slide-outs.

"Reckless and wild, they pour through the turns

Their prowess is potent and secretly stern"

Cole Tesar, Felt SC Action Sports, takes the highline in a typical first turn scene.

On the other hand, intermediates still intimidated by lippy jumps and steep rhythms, thrived on the track. Wyatt loved the track, only complaining that, "the first turn's a little bumpy". Wyatt soared through motos, quarters and semis in both classes Saturday, finishing 6th in 8 cruiser, and 3rd in 8 intermediate. Sunday, fatigue set in. Wyatt was unable to clear motos in cruiser, and crashed in his 8 int. quarter after waking up from a nap.

By Sunday, Wyatt had had enough.

William had only minor difficulties in 10 cruiser on Saturday. After crashing in round one, he easily cleared the second moto and semi, taking a 2nd in the main, on the heels once again of Roman Jaworsky.

"But he's striving and driving and hugging the turns..."

William's face says it all.

10 expert was a different story. The top riders were all there, and then some. A rider count of 39 left no room for error, bad luck, or whatever else you want to call it. William drew gate 1 for Saturday's semi, and while he tried to push out and move over to a better line, it wasn't enough to get him a transfer spot. He sucked up his disappointment and became determined for day two.

"He's going the distance
He's going for speed"

William had a repeat of Saturday in 10 cruiser, again taking 2nd to Roman. 10 expert had him anxious though, especially when he turned up in gate 1 again for the semi. Fortunately, the gate gods were with him and his snap was good, allowing him some room to move over into his line, and safely transfer to the main.

"Still driving and striving as fast as he can..."

William finished 4th in a disappointing 10x main. Don't get me wrong. Out of 7 racks, we're thrilled with 4th place. William somehow landed gate 1 again for the main. Unable to move to the right, his left pedal hit the first turn barrier, causing him to unclip and come to a complete stop. Two riders attempting to go around William in the turn, slid out together, while the two top riders crashed on the next obstacle. William was the first out of the five who wrecked to get going again, allowing him to take the 4 spot. "I feel worse today after that than I did yesterday after not making the main", William said. He couldn't stand it. He wanted to know how it should've been.

"In his mind, he's still driving, still making the grade"

Because I've been strong-armed by two rhinoceros beetles, we will see you in the Lone Star State.

"Cause he's going the distance

He's going for speed"*

BMX Mom

*Quotes from "The Distance", by Cake

Florida State Qualifiers in Jacksonville: Great track, great friends, great racing! (bad SSA)

The Florida state series is somewhat of a novelty to us. We've never completed a season, often unwilling to travel far south to Miami, West Palm, or wherever to attend the championship. The boys do love the competition though, so we try to hit qualifiers when the timing is right. Some might argue with me, but I feel that Florida has the most competitive state series in the country, with qualifiers typically having the feel of a small national. All that said, I'm really not a huge fan of the money-grubbing organization known as the SSA (Sunshine State Association). While I'm certainly not wanting to see it fail, I would like to see a huge shake-up. From what I've heard, there's just not enough love for the local tracks. From what I saw this weekend, there's not a lot of respect for the riders shelling out the race fees that pay their bills either.

On a bright note, the track couldn't have been better. According to Vikki Wright, "...Donell did one hell of job." He most certainly did, Mrs. Wright! Thank you Mr. Wright for a job well done! I can't go without thanking Michelle Messing either, who clearly has a grasp on marketing and event planning. Great job! Oh, and Bill, I hope you figured out how to cook that frozen chicken. Many thanks to all of the volunteers. You helped make up for what the SSA was lacking.

The SSA seemed to struggle Saturday, with what seemed to be some odd attempt at combining their system with the ABA moto system. Riders were called to staging for mains before anyone knew their moto numbers or gates-- unless you were one of the mathematical geniuses who happened to know the correct method for determining gate placement. The riders in the first 20 motos (2 of whom were MY boys), sat in staging for 90 minutes, as there was no announcement made as to what all the trouble was. This was disrespectful and unacceptable SSA!

Once things got rolling, both William and Wyatt had great kids to ride against, making the spectating fun, and the podium finishes worthy. Not that my kids need anymore trophies, but at $40 an entry, one would think the SSA could cough up a little more than some medals that a little birdie told me only cost a buck and a half. Thanks for nothing.

Seriously?

William battled it out with Joey Leto in 10x and 10c, finally grabbing one win in cruiser on Sunday. He gave it his all in 10x, and took the silver, only to have a DQ called on him a few moments later. Of course I didn't waste any time investigating this matter, with my curious son trailing behind me. Apparently, William was called out by the corner marshall in the first turn for crossing the white line. Ok, I've seen that line crossed a gazillion times with no consequence, which ticked me off. As this was just a SQ that we care nothing about, I took a deep breath, took William's silver from around my neck, and handed it to the officials and told them to stick it where ... ahem.... thanked them politely for their information. William's reaction? "I don't care. It's not like I won."

SSA, if I could have DQ'd YOU, I would have.

I absolutely can not end this on a sour note. The weather was beautiful, and our friends were there in abundance. The boys raced well, and I puffed up like a peacock overhearing parents who don't know me from Eve talking about the fast kid with the long blonde hair in 8 int.

We can't pass up the ride time at some of our favorite tracks with some or our favorite friends. Expect to see us at the qualifiers in Sarasota and High Springs. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing some positive changes the newly elected board will bring to the SSA.

BMX Mom

Ride With Me

My kind-hearted neighbor told me recently, "I don't do Jesus." This tickled me to no end, as I thought to myself, I really don't 'do Jesus' either. Through all of my years of Sunday school and MYF, I never believed that a compassionate person, no matter who or what they worshipped, would be doomed for eternity to the fiery pits of hell. Why would I worship someone who would do THAT? And yet, my head is often filled with thoughtful prayer as I stand at the fence and watch my sons climb the starting hill to take their places in the gate.

Emerald Angel, Mignon Wolfe 1996

So, if I don't really "do Jesus", who am I talking to?

My mom was an artist, painting angels and flowers and all things beautiful.

William's Firetruck, Mignon Wolfe 2004
On the back it says, "To William on your 3rd birthday. I will love you always, Mimi"

She died suddenly one November when William was only three. Flooded by grief, one thought raged in my mind. She'll never know her grandsons. 

William and my Mom, August 2003

I often wonder what she would think of them. I think she'd marvel over William's tenacious drive for perfection in all things, and laugh over my complaints about the way he nit-picks his brother. "He's just like your sister at that age",  I imagine her saying with a knowing smile. How would she feel knowing her seat at our piano is now occupied by Wyatt, who, with his blonde locks and vibrant personality, is her spitting image?

My Mom and Wyatt,  Mardi Gras 2004

I'd like to think she'd burst with pride. To her, they would be the most wonderful boys between here and the moon.

I wish she could stand by me at that fence and share the excitement and anticipation. Instead I send my silent plea. Keep them safe. Ride with them.


Seven years later I allow myself to dream that she is where she is meant to be.

BMX Mom

BMX Friends

Kyle Wyatt and Wyatt Parker
Their first race was against each other when they were 4!

Today I asked William who his best BMX friends are. "How many do you want me to name? There's Grant, Ricky, Gabe, Zach, Dylan, Joey, Carson, Cole, Brady...." You get the idea. When I asked Wyatt, his answer was simple... "Kyle".

What's interesting about this is that most of their best BMX buds go at it with them tooth and nail on the track, with the most long-standing friendship/battle belonging to William and Grant Green.

William (left) and Grant Green- 5 rookies: Winter 2007

Last weekend we raced the Alabama state championship at Circle City BMX in Dothan. If we had to claim a home track, this would be it. Being from Tallahassee, we feel homeless in the BMX world, and Dothan continues to take us in like a cute lost puppy. Naturally I coerced the Greens into joining us to give William some good competition, and selfishly, me some time to hang out with Grant's mom, and my friend, Mandi.


William and Grant are the best race of the day in 10x and 10c. William powers out of the gate, but Grant's strength and endurance makes it a drag race on the last straight every time. Mandi jokes when William takes the win. "Dang! I told Grant to take him out!" "I expected him to run into William's back tire at any moment." I replied. Truth is, these boys would never do that. There's a long standing history of mutual friendship and respect that allows them to ride elbow to elbow, crank to crank.

William - gate 6, Grant- gate 7: 6 novice, Fall Classic 2007

Oak Mountain regional 2008: 7 novice

William (left) and Grant: AL state championship 2008?

Grant and William: SE Regional Championship 2011

William (center), Grant and "Little Joe" Herring (left)
AL State Championship Sept. 2011 (photo: Susanne Dube)

Wyatt got to race an old friend too. Kyle was there, giving it his all, despite the fact that he rarely rides anymore. As soon as those two cross the finish line, they're off to the woods or jumping in a ditch, looking for any kind of trouble to get into.

William, Wyatt, and the Dothan boys: Kyle, Matthew and Joe (2008)

Wyatt and Kyle (St. Pete 2009?)

Wyatt (#517) and Kyle (#31) Dothan, Sept. 2011
photo: Susanne Dube

Half of the year, while William waits for his birthday to roll around, he goes elbow to elbow with his other BMX buds, Dylan Shipley and Zach VonBergen. On the track, there's no holding back, as these guys push each other to go harder, while always maintaining that level of respect that one has for a true friend.

Dylan (848) and William- 2009?

William, Wyatt and Dylan in the Felt pits: Grands 2011

William and Zach always have a great race
photo: Jon Larson

New teams bring new friends as well, and William being welcomed onto Factory Felt made way for new friendships-- not just for him, but for our whole family!

William and team mate Ricky Castro

It's always a fun time in the Felt pits.
William, Wyatt, Gabe Hatem and Coleman Habib

I sometimes worry about Wyatt being the odd man out, or worse- the pesky little brother. He seemed to spend a lot of time in Louisville playing that part, especially with William's 13x team mate Anthony Catlow. As we said our goodbyes in Louisville and wished everyone safe travels, I thanked Anthony for being good natured and patient with Wyatt. "Sometimes William's friends think he's a pest", I said. To my surprise, Anthony smiled and said, "I don't. I think he's cool!"

BMX Mom

2011 NBL Grands: an Emotional Finale

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."
-- Johnny Cash


On the first day of practice in Louisville, I received news that has sat like lead in my heart, dampening my spirit, and weighing down the corners of my smile. Knowing that I couldn't share this with my son before his biggest race of the year, I shoved my sad secret as far back as I could where it still crept out to cloud my thoughts.

The Felt Boys and Wyatt

Wyatt went 2-2-1 in motos
Photo credit: Kevin McMeans

It was a mostly joyful time in the Felt pits. We won our battle for scaffolding, and Vann, Wyatt and I thanked William for his "awesomeness" that afforded us this opportunity. He'd better keep up the good work because I don't think I could stand watching from the ground again.

Motos passed smoothly for both of my boys, and all the Felt riders. Wyatt cleared quarters easily, but ended 5th in his 8 challenger semi. In the 8 cruiser semi, he went down with his friend and Schanewolf team mate Derek Wright, which was equally disappointing for both boys.

Despite not making making his mains, Vann and I heard from several people who raved about Wyatt's improved riding. Vann and I are very proud of him, and he should be proud of himself too!

Misty Castro and I hugged each other in shared relief after William and Ricky qualified for the 10x main, only to have our hearts sink for the Hatems, who were standing a few feet away. Semis are tough, and Gabe Hatem not making the 11x main is a testament to the fact that sometimes the top riders don't. We heaved a collective sigh after all the Felt boys cleared cruiser semis.

As this video protest shows, Grant Green (10x)
is across the line and going to the main!

As mains began I felt my stomach lurch and the lump rise in my throat. Our first Felt rider up was Marcus Christopher in 8x. This little boy is so skilled and so fast. We knew the win was his. Our pit area was hushed as Marcus crashed going all out for his win.

William and Ricky loaded the gate shortly after, leaving me no time to offer a word of comfort to the Christophers. As the gate dropped in 10x, it appeared as if we might get our wish-- Felt riders in 1 and 2. William was well positioned on the inside, with a plan to sweep up to take the inside line on the second straight. All this was in William's head as he was sent down going into the first turn. Hurt and anger filled me all at once, and it felt terrible. Misty was there again. My sweet friend hugging me and shedding tears of joy for her son's 10x victory, and tears of hurt for William and me.

William dominated his 10x motos
photo credit: Mark Mascara

Ricky Castro celebrated another national title with his win in 10 cruiser. Fortunately this was a clean race and William pulled 4th. He rode well, and Vann and I were proud, but William felt shamed and disappointed. His winner's heart has trouble accepting it, and yet he must, and move on.

Yesterday I broke the news to William that his best friend Thomas, a kind-hearted soul who came back strong from a liver transplant, jumped our bike ramps, and climbed the trees in our yard, has been diagnosed with post-transplant lymphoma. He has been pulled from school to begin 18 weeks of chemotherapy. His mom asked that William please call and write to Thomas because they won't be able to see each other for quite some time. Learning of his friend's suffering helped pull William out of his black hole of self-pity and self-doubt that he's been swimming in since mains on Sunday.

I found it odd that through all of the sadness, joy, disappointment, anger, relief, pride and resolve, my eyes remained dry. Yesterday in the car, as Don Williams and Emmylou sang "If I Needed You", the tears finally came.

William, Wyatt and Thomas

BMX Mom